Posts tagged ‘Dating’

You Can’t Hurry Love

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As the song says, “Will you still love me tomorrow?”

The answer to that question will always be a resounding NO if you insist on hurrying through the process of failing in love or settle for less than what trips your trigger.

What do you want?  Easy and sleezy or long and lasting?  It’s up to you.

I know this will come as a great shock, but I’m no expert on love. Lord knows, even at my age, I still find I have much to learn when it comes to something that is, according to the powers that be, supposed to be naturally occurring phenomenon.

Visit any bookstore and you’ll find there are aisles and aisles of books devoted to love and all its possible outcomes and consequences. Books that tell you how to find your soul mate, how to make sure you’re irresistible to them by re-inventing yourself, how you should feel and how to manipulate a potential mate into acting the way you think they should act…crowd each aisle.

Then there are the myriad of books that tell you how to have every sort of sex act imaginable, a few of which are actually possible, and also contain do-it-yourself-er advice for the “handy” men and women amongst us (wouldn’t that be the epitome a “self-help” manual? Just a thought. *batting my eyes*) 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t physical pleasures be something that is effortless with a true mate or someone you love and trust?  WHY do we spend so much money attempting to fit a square peg into a round hole, metaphorically speaking. *wink* If you need a little “pick-me-up”, your own imagination should do just fine without someone else instructing you step by step on how to make a chocolate mold of your stud muffin’s willie simply in order to spice up a love life.  Rely on your own intuition. 

As you progress on to the next aisle, you’ll discover books and advice on how to fix the relationship you’ve already managed to break, neglect or screw up.  You can  continue on and pursue books that also tell you how to find out if the love of your life is cheating on you by putting on your detective hat and trench coat.  Heaven knows, trust is a bygone character trait in our society today. 

Last but not least, comes the section on how to take the person to which you pledged your heart and soul, to the cleaners or exact revenge for whatever pain you’re now experiencing. Who said that romance is dead?? Heck, you can buy the magic spells for guaranteed romance for the bargain price of $19.95 at Books a Million. What a deal!!

Is it any wonder we’re floundering and confused?  If we so called adults are acting like irresponsible teenagers in heat without a clue, heaven help the teenagers we’re responsible for raising and teaching such things.

When I wander around on online, it seems that there are so many people that are determined, come hell or high water, to fall in love. They plan for it. They advertise for it. They bemoan the fact that no one is falling under their spell. They finally decide, after a whole week or two of looking, to settle on something close to what they might actually want in a mate.

We want everything in our lives to be quick and easy..shake and bake. Women hear their clock ticking or don’t want to be labeled as an Old Maid or spinster..and men want to be taken care of or take care of someone to feel vital and not be labeled as “funny” by great aunt Marge when she discusses with the family why you can’t find a bride or have a woman stay with you.

Now keeping in mind that I’ve already confessed to not being Dr. Laura or Dear Abby or Dr. Phil, real love just isn’t that easy to find and can’t be forced into your time frame or specifications. IF you feel the urge coming over you to rationalize what you’re willing to do so that you’re not lonely anymore…get a grip. LOVE shouldn’t be rational. It can’t be arranged or planned for, and if it can be…then again, it’s not LOVE. 

Love is also messy and emotional (isn’t that the point?). You WILL cry over someone that you love. It is guaranteed we will all say or do the wrong thing at some time in a relationship. Ladies, all the platitudes we’re fed like…”No man worthwhile will make you cry” is bunk. Of COURSE worthwhile men will occasionally make us cry (or we’ll do it to ourselves by over-thinking or over-reacting)…if you don’t ever cry or fight or get upset in a relationship, then one or both of you just isn’t fully involved emotionally in said relationship. It’s benign and stagnant and will ultimately leave you bored and dissatisfied or as lonely as when you really were by yourself and alone.  The only difference being, you’re now alone where it counts, on the inside, while pretending to be part of a couple.

There are so many people rushing into real life meetings or falling in love after a couple of long conversations online with a total stranger. I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s not love. It might be the first stirrings of lust or interest, but it sure as hell isn’t love and if you rush into things, it will end badly. What’s the hurry anyway? IF it’s something destined to be important to you both and lasting, time will enhance the connection, not diminish it. You need to learn about the other person, experience them, make sure they are who they say they are. By the same token, you have to learn to not hold back as well…to give them even the parts of yourself you might not be proud of, rather than only showing your good side or what you think they are looking for.

If you don’t know their middle name, their birthday…the names of their children if they have them, where they were born or have heard about their parents or siblings, you don’t know them. Do you know their favorite movies, who gave them their first kiss, the foods they hate or summer jobs they had growing up? Little details that aren’t only lust or physically related, start to round out a person. You need long conversations on the phone so you can hear their voice, the pitch of their laugh…talking about all sorts of subjects from politics to nonsense. You need to not only be focused on finding out what turns them on or the size of their ummm…attributes, but instead find out if you really like the person as well as lust after them.

Yes, attraction is key to a relationship, but it’s just the icebreaker. If you’re looking for more than a quick roll in the hay that hopefully ONLY leaves you upset when it’s over (and without complications such as disease or a stalker or a new addition to the family), dare to look deeper and take your time if you want any chance at a lasting friendship with someone that is also your lover and one day maybe a lifelong partner.

None of us wants or likes to be lonely, it sucks to deal with things on our own all the time, be the fixer, or feel as if the weight of the world is always on our shoulders. We’re all searching for contact with someone that understands us, makes us feel wanted and needed. It doesn’t get any easier with maturity and age, in fact..I think it gets tougher. The players have refined their game by then and it’s hard to tell the good humans from the ones that talk a good game, male or female. Most of us have had relationships that have changed us in some way, at times hurtful ways that leave behind emotional scars that anyone new in our lives will have to understand and find ways over walls we may have built to protect ourselves. We’re more scared to fail or get hurt again. None of this is insurmountable.

Listen to your head and heart, not only your “happy spots” of bodily lust, when you meet someone that makes you take notice. Sex is easy, love takes effort and thought.  Use your brain, but at the same time, let yourself dream of possibilities. When you’ve been hurt, let yourself heal…but don’t close yourself off, none of us can live our lives in a vacuum.

It’s best to wait for the one you want than to settle for the one who’s available. Best to wait for the one you love than settle for the one who’s around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to be wasted with the wrong person, hoping they will change into what you want or need…hoping that magic pixie dust will make you happy.

Live, Learn, Love…and have fun doing it.

 

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~True love cannot be defined by any means. It is a cluster of adjectives. It’s crazy, passionate, complicated, painful, but most importantly, true love is real. It’s that feeling of being inexplicably drawn to another person. Love isn’t finding someone who you can escape reality with, it’s finding someone who makes reality worthwhile.~

Are You Good Enough to Eat?

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Most people tend to associate aphrodisiacs only with food. It’s been long examined and proven through exhaustive studies (with willing volunteers I’m sure) that certain foods will raise our libidos and pique our interest in getting physical.

While I am a firm believer in well, anything that will get things ummm, firm, I also believe we’re disregarding a whole other source of passion and pleasure when it comes to the inducement of cumming. We instead rush to the unimaginative resources that bombard us through the media and porn industry of what romance and arousal should be rather than tapping our own natural resources for inspiration.

There are commercials with catchy jingles about the wonders of Viagra for instant interest and hard-on simply for the sake of performance, regardless of whether or not the person in question actually fans our fire. Sex for sex sake. While a little blue pill technically does get the job done, so to speak.  In taking these shortcuts to instant intimacy and guaranteed performance, we’re missing out on so much of the important part journey that makes it more intense, more fun.

I happen to believe we can all learn to be walking talking aphrodisiacs. It’s not dependent on your looks, but on your imagination and confidence level in who you are.

We’ve all seen them..those people who seem to attract others to them like magnets.  The ones who always seem to have suitors vying for their time and attention, no matter the situation. They are not always the most beautiful people in the room, in fact, many times they are not. So what sets them apart from those around them and gets them noticed? Attraction is an art, but it is also part science..bottom line is, the magnetism you exude is entirely under your own control.

You have to be willing to do a few things. You have to not take yourself so seriously. Will everything you do always turn out like the soaring soundtrack to a romantic movie? Of course not..you have to learn to laugh at yourself, to get over yourself. You will also have to step outside of your own comfort zone at times.

This is one time it is perfectly okay to fake it (fake it now, not later when you have accomplished your goals of heating things up). Put on your confident airs and believe that you can do anything. Fake it if you must until you start to believe your own bravado and sense of self.

Last but not least, it requires a true realization within yourself that you are truly sexy, confident and worth being adored, and worthevery bit of  the attention coming your way. Confidence in yourself is as powerful as any little blue pill or food that you can eat to ensure that you WILL trip someones trigger that you’re interested in.

There are a few things you need to remember and do in your quest to find your inner sex magnet…

Define your own sense and version of what sexy is. It’s different for everyone, so trying to copy someone else just won’t work. Be yourself and be confident in the style you create. There is no one size fits all in the rules of attraction. Find your own niche.

Show an interest in those around you, keep up with current events. Ask questions that show you’re listening, have direct eye contact with those you’re speaking with. If you show interest in learning about someone and that you are more than just a pretty or handsome face, it ups your attraction value greatly.

Learn how to make an entrance. This does NOT mean to always make a spectacle of yourself. Instead, enter a room with your head held high. Make eye contact and smile. Believe that those that are there are glad to see you and say it to yourself until it sinks in and becomes true in your mind.

Have something you’re passionate about and don’t be afraid to express it. In order to be attractive to others, you have to have beliefs or causes that you can express passion over. Passion is SO much more that what comes out of sex. It’s a part of your spirit. Whether it’s an issue you feel strongly about or a hobby that you throw yourself into, you’re more appealing if you’re not one dimensional. Have a favorite author, argue politics if you dare, challenge someone to a game of backgammon or chess.

Exercise and take care of yourself. No, this doesn’t mean running out to join a gym tomorrow. Take pride in your appearance, like it or not, first impressions often are difficult to overcome. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to do so and it’s important to respect yourself and to let it show. No matter your weight, if you exercise, even just by walking a few more steps a day..it increases your self esteem, boosts your energy AND your libido. It will show from a glow in your face..if you feel healthy, you look healthy. This too, is about attitude in part. Treat yourself and your body with respect and others will too.

Forget the “rules”.Don’t go into a situation with pre-conceived notions of what you should and shouldn’t do. Don’t play games. Go with the flow and enjoy yourself, loosen up. If you feel interest, let the person know it. Don’t expect them to wait on you to return their calls or have to guess if you’re interested or not in them. If you do, don’t be surprised if they aren’t there when you decide to try and reel them in. That doesn’t mean that discretion and flirting go out the window, but by the same token, don’t sabotage yourself either by trying to control the entire situation.

Learn to flirt, don’t dismiss the ever so important nuances of foreplay.Someone that can master the art (and it is an art, albeit becoming a lost one) of seduction is almost unstoppably, unbearably interesting to a partner or potential partner. While the in-your-face take me now approach can be and is fun in an established relationship, in most cases..learning to flirt, even without serious intent, is vital to your appeal-ability..and knowing how to seduce and fan the flames of passion with someone you are in a relationship with is priceless. Whether you are in a long distance relationship as I am or in a long term marriage, know your power. Don’t be predictable.

Be picky, don’t settle. There is nothing worse than the sense that someone will take whatever is available simply in order to scratch an itch or not be lonely. Learn how to like being alone, and when you meet someone that just isn’t quite right…don’t try to talk yourself into them or think you can make them into your ideal partner. When you decide to get down and dirty, it doesn’t have to always be for true love. When that decision is made and the clothes start coming off, it always should be with someone you actually respect and at least like, not just someone you’re in lust with and don’t want to be seen with outside of the bedroom (or restaurant bathroom stall, whatever floats your boat). Not only are one night stands dangerous to your health, it’s truthfully not even close to being the mind blowing sex you can have with someone you know well and know how to arouse.

Accept that you will not always come away with the prize. Yes, I know it’s hard to imagine, but not everyone will find you attractive or be interested in your bubbling confident personality. That’s what makes the world go ’round. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it only means that different strokes for different folks (literally at times *wink*). No one is 100%attractive, 100% of the time, to everyone they meet. Feelings will be occasionally hurt and that’s okay, it’s not fatal. Don’t let it stop you from climbing right back on the horse to ride..so to speak.

Last but not least…Learn how to be sensual. Indulge in your senses…learn to appreciate the life around you. Hug your acquaintances. Enhance your sense of touch, whether out in nature or around the house..feel the texture of life around you. Appreciate the delicious smells that can spark our senses. Taste everything. Learn to dance, slow and close, hear and feel the music surrounding you. Passion and sensuality is not just simply about sweaty naked bodies, it’s something that permeates your entire being.

Cultivate yourself, learn how to become irresistible to those around you…learn how to be fascinating. Before long, you’ll notice a difference in the way others look at you and treat you. Smile often, flirt shamelessly without intent to those you meet, but flirt with pure intent with those that fire your senses.

Before you know it, you will literally be good enough to eat and an aphrodisiac that can’t be found on any grocery shelf or in a pill bottle. You’ll be the definition of pure walking talking sex appeal and available without a prescription..what a concept!

I’m Not Settling For Just Getting By, Are You?

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I rarely, if ever, listen to the drive time disc jockeys (even though I dated a prominent one here in at Atlanta years ago).  Usually, when they start endlessly talking ad nauseum about some silly subject designed to titillate the masses, I switch to another station or at times even just turn the radio off in favor of a little blessed hard found silence on the drive home.

Today though, on the way home from the airport, one of the local shows hit on a topic that was morbidly fascinating to listen to.  It was a case of not being totally surprised by the subject matter, quite frankly it’s something I’ve addressed many times over the years.  Instead it amazed me that so many people would get on live radio and be brutally honest, no holds barred.  They were taking the chance of hurting those that love them or that were clueless in their relationships by using not only their names, but in having someone hear and recognize their voices.

As I said, the topic was not a surprise.  The DJs asked who amongst us had “settled” in their relationships for someone that was “safe” rather than what we truly wanted.  By safe, they meant someone that we thought would be a good mate or parent, that would most likely never stray but if we’re honest with ourselves, we really have little to no attraction to besides friendship and never will.  They asked who had married someone that they “learned” to have some feelings for, however pale those emotions might be, but that they do not have passion for. 

The phone lines were literally jammed with callers almost eager to tell their tales of passing over the ones that fired their senses for the one that will simply “do”.  While there were plenty of men calling, the women were far more brutal and plentiful in their descriptions of how boring their mates were.  Most also were very honest about their lack of attraction for their partner’s looks and desirability factor.  Even those only married a short time no longer had any great desire to be intimate with their mates.  The spark just isn’t there and wasn’t there to begin with.

It was almost as if the floodgates had been opened and all the people that had been hiding in the shadows with their discontent, now felt free to finally share their deepest secrets with all of Atlanta.  So why do so many people settle and stay in relationships that are not meeting their needs and never will?

Why are we all still here?

Why are we still dealing with it?

What is it that makes us attempt to salvage every shred of our relationships?

Is it attachment? Insecurity? Is being alone so terrible, that we’re settling with unsatisfactory actions or the lack thereof? Can they really love us as much as they say they do and act like such jerks sometimes? (Uninterested, interested in someone else, or only interested in themselves?)

Some of the reasons we settle in relationships and stay in relationships:

  1. Security
  2. Fear of Change
  3. Safety
  4. It’s easier to stay in our comfort zone without too much effort required or expected of us
  5. Attachment
  6. Afraid to be alone
  7. Not wanting to disappoint our peers or family and take the chance of being excluded from the “group” and upset the status quo
  8. Fear of being seen as the bad guy/gal or appearing selfish
  9. What if the next relationship is worse?
  10. A sense of Obligation/Responsibility, whether real or imagined

 

Is there a way you are settling for less than you deserve in a relationship? Are you saying a clear “no” to things that do not work for you or the things that are not right for you? Are you afraid of being alone? Afraid you will not have another chance at love? And most of all, do you feel unworthy to have a deeply loving relationship?

Or could it be that having a real adult relationship is too scary and too much work?  Is it too daunting to let someone see that much of yourself and take the chance they might not like what they discover? Are we too afraid to reach for what we want and deserve to have..to live life to the fullest?  Are we becoming a society that is satisfied with apathy and being just “okay” rather than striving for excellence in every area of our lives, personal and professional?

Are YOU settling?  If so, why do you choose to cheat yourself and everyone around you by withholding major parts of yourself or disconnecting from life and not living it to it’s full potential?

Is it ever okay to settle for apathy and merely what we think we can “get” over what we want and need to be TRULY happy in order to live life to it’s full potential? Is that fair to ourselves or for that matter to those we choose to settle for? Are we cheating them out of their chance for happiness as well?

 

What Makes You Stay – Deana Carter from Hope Floats

Look at me
I’m in a place
I never thought I’d be..

Don’t have the strength
To fight anymore
Or a reason not to leave.

So tell me why I still keep holding on
To something I just cannot see.

What makes you stay
When your world falls apart?
What makes you try one more time
When it’s not in your heart.

At the end of your rope
When you can’t find any hope..
You still look at her and say
I just can’t walk away.

Tell me what makes you stay.

I’m not afraid
Of living alone
I was alone before he came.

I’ve been in love
Many times before
But this time’s not the same.

I’ve always been the first to say goodbye
Now it’s the last thing I can do.

What makes you stay
When your world falls apart.
What makes you try one more time
When it’s not in your heart?

At the end of your rope
When you can’t find any hope
You still look at her and say..
I just can’t walk away.

Tell me what makes you stay.

When it goes this deep
And feels this strong,
I can’t convince myself
That this love is wrong.

What makes you stay
When your world falls apart?
What makes you try one more time
When it’s not in your heart?

At the end of your rope
When you can’t find any hope..
You still look at her and say
I just can’t walk away.

Tell me what makes you stay.

Take a Chance on Life & Make it Count

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Take chances…
Tell the truth…
Date someone totally wrong for you…Twice…
Say no…
Spend all your cash…
Fall in love…
Get to know someone random…
BE RANDOM…
Say “I love you”…
Trust even when it scares you…
Sing out loud…
Let someone know how much they mean to you…
Laugh at a stupid joke…
Cry…
Get revenge now and then…
Apologize…
Tell a jerk what you think of them…
Let someone know what they are missing…
Share your inner thoughts…
Occasionally give in to your secret urges…
Take a chance on someone…
Try new looks…
Take the road less traveled…
Don’t take yourself so seriously all the time…
Tell someone you miss them…
Be mysterious…
NEVER settle for less than you deserve or want…
And always,
 
LIVE LIFE!!
 

The ability or will to live outside our natural comfort zone is something that most people will never think of doing, much less attempt.  I’m not talking about abandoning all sense of responsibility or duty in day to day life.  Unfortunately,  that does seem to be a growing trait more and more people seem to be taking on in our society today.  Not accepting responsibility for their actions or not being prepared for consequences is something that a lot of my generation seems to be embracing themselves and then passing on to our children.  It’s much easier to shift blame or just ignore the facts of what our actions or words can cause. 

Is everyone this way?  No, thank goodness…there are still a majority of people that realize you have to be accountable and take a stand for what you truly believe in and let your life reflect those beliefs…and if things don’t work out the way you thought they would or should, take the consequences with grace and style…and move on.

HOWEVER, I have come to realize over time that there also has to be a balance, or rather there SHOULD be a balance in your life, that enables you to fulfill the duties and tasks you need to accomplish while at the same time always you not neglect the needs of your soul or the things that can make you happy.  The things that might take you outside that comfort zone a lot of us seem to fall into and never leave.

Is finding that balance an easy thing to do?  NO…it’s something that can and probably will cause that butterflies in your stomach feeling, sweaty palms and it’s pretty much guaranteed you will miss sleep while trying to find yourself.  Is it something necessary to live life to it’s fullest so that you can one day look back at your life and truly have no regrets?  No regrets for always having done what was always expected of you rather than what would have made you happy (even now and then)?

ABSOLUTELY!!! 

I see examples of so many bitter unhappy people merely walking through their lives these days.

There are those that are dissatisfied with their lives or standing in society.  The ones that are unhappy with their own choices and instead want to blame others rather than themselves when life doesn’t work out the way they planned.  They end up feeling alone or stupid because of decisions they have freely made.   It almost seems they take comfort in their misery and are almost anxious to wallow in their discomfort rather than take steps to improve the things making them miserable.

Next there are those that believe by taking care of everyone around them at the expense of themselves or their own happiness,  that they somehow are doing the right thing.  Instead, they end up cheating everyone around them, including themselves.  They are robbing those they love of ever knowing the true person living within. The people that will freely take from them without interest or care for the sacrifices being made are being done no favors.  The person that lives their life through the happiness of others is in essence wasting a huge part of themselves and their potential, often without anyone even noticing or caring.

Then there are some, and in my opinion, the worst…those that are intent on thinking themselves above it all and better than their fellow man, even though a lot of their own actions are purely hypocritical and the same or worse than those they try to belittle.  In the end, they only end up making themselves look foolish in the process and rarely see it.  I have found that I have no patience or sympathy for anyone that makes the choice to be vindictive, mean spirited or judgemental toward others instead of putting responsibility on themselves or living their own lives.  I do however, pity those stuck in that rut of unhappiness or deceit, and for the people that have to live with or interact with them over and over again.  The masks they think they wear so carefully are often instead transparent to everyone around them.

I know I can’t change all of the wrongs in the world by myself or always worry about what I cannot change in others.  I don’t plan to look back on my life one day and lament the fact that I missed out on things I should have taken a chance on. The things that at the time might have seemed crazy or scary or stupid…something not in my “comfort zone”. 

Over the last few years I have embraced this philosophy.  In doing so, at times the decisions I’ve made have turned out to be terrific ones where I’ve grown, learned and purely enjoyed.  At times, as will happen, some choices were ones in the end I’d have rather not made, but I still learned from those choices as well.  It turns out even tough lessons are valuable ones if you let them be. 

I plan to keep living life and taking chances outside what is merely expected of me.  In the process I will try to never purposely do harm to others or shirk responsibilities that are all important in life.  By the same token however, I also never plan to quit growing or experiencing the flavors and colors of life, or for that matter shrink away from confrontations if they are warranted.  I will not sacrifice my full potential or happiness out of fear or by trying to take care of everyone else but myself in a misguided attempt to be selfless or a martyr.

I will try to always take chances when I can, even when I’m uncertain of the outcome.  This is what keeps us vital and young and moving ahead.  It keeps us from becoming stagnant, unhappy or bitter because of missed opportunities or from blaming others for what we decide to do or not do with our lives.  It keeps us from having  disappointment in how our lives turn out.

So I’m living my life as I started this post, continuing to move forward with my eyes wide open, head held high and my mind open to what is to come, even in these uncertain times. 

Living your life well IS truly the best “revenge” against disappointment or being stuck in a rut with no chance of escape.  It’s not comfortable at times to believe in yourself, but life will certainly never be dull!

 

~Live well, laugh often, love passionately~

Talk Dirty to Me..In The New Old Fashioned Way

d67e1On second thought, never mind.

 

When did we start the slide down the slippery (no pun intended) slope to become such a world of boringly predictable people?

 

The “shock” value of things a few years ago from those acting outside the norm such as Howard Stern, has disintegrated too rapidly in the past few years into a population (especially online) that has lost all sense of imagination in favor of reverting back to teenage adolescent behavior and sexual immaturity in the belief that this is the “new” modern way of interacting with each other. What the heck, who needs silly things like manners and anticipation when you can have instant promiscuity and lewd comments substituted for actual conversation. It saves SO much time, right?!? (and produces such a profoundly lasting result, just take a gander at the divorce rate these days)

 

When did it become so easy to BE easy?

 

Call me silly, but give me good old-fashioned romance, pursuit and seduction anytime over this watered-down pale ridiculous version of what passes for the mating ritual dance these days..or as I refer to it, total BS so deep you need to be in a full length body condom just to say hello, never mind shaking hands or other body parts with anyone.

 

Where, oh where have all the creative people gone?

 

Where are the people that possess the ability to craft subtle subliminal play and innuendo with their words?

 

What has happened to the ART of foreplay and seduction?

 

Does anyone even KNOW what a double entrendre IS anymore?

 

I think not.

 

The golden years of people that could make magic with their words…the ones that could, with a single glance or turn of a phrase, have you on the edge of your seat with longing..the concept of always leave them wanting more…is no more it seems. To me, the loss of such a vital part of interpersonal relationships and the death of all imagination is a crying shame. I, for one…will continue to hold fast to the “old” ways. These new “techniques” leave me cold. Trust me, I am NOT in any stretch of the imagination ever what could be considered frigid or even tepid..but throw a predictable or lewd line at me when I don’t know you, it’s the kiss of death and the end of my Southern sense of decorum and manners (bless your heart).

 

Cases in point..I decided to do a little research..all in the name of science of course and just scratched the surface (and trust me, I scratched NOTHING else, cross my heart!! *wink*) of what passes for modern day Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson wannabes wandering through the halls of cyberspace. This is some of what I found..

 

Search for “69” on some social websites and you cum up with 12,641 offerings from the creatively unchallenged.
Blasts aplenty of course with subtle obviously subliminal messages such as…

 

69 69 69 69 is the best way.. what do u think?” (from a lovely girl apparently considering a calling as a nun…ummm, I guess it’s a female from the nickname that involves the word pink, but alas, the profile is mostly blank)

Or the oh so subtle nicknames such as P*ssy Licker 69 and Queen_69_B*tch_69 that leave SO much to the imagination as to the quality of their character.  Just makes you want to run right out and propose to them, doesn’t it?      

 

Or blogs like this from Sebastian…his blast and blog – “Hi iam Sebastian …………….. XXxxx I luv 69, so if you wanna sit on my face, contact me. Kisses, where ever you like!! …”

 

Or this…

 

Hi,
Why would we complicate our lifes so much if we just look for some good sex, just get but naked and f*ck tonight. If you are interested in just good hot wet and warm sex just let me know. Just make love not war.!!!!
(Oh yes, I can bet this big boy is flooded with offers!!)

 

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The search for the word “c*nt” garnered less entries (1672), but far more explicit hard-core no-holds barred advertisement for non-strings physical ummm..interactions.

 

A few shining examples…

 

This blast was from someone with the nickname “OMG I’m a HO HO” (Hmmm…isn’t a “ho ho” a chocolate cake made by Hostess and cream filled…oh, nevermind..guess it could be loosely descriptive for this lovely lady too..loose being the operative word)

Her blast – “Bad Girl Crazy Sh*t whining already fucking gringo c*nt C.U.N.T could stand for c u next time Licking sucking and f*cking 5 inch penis dripping juicy fat c*nts.” (which I’m SURE is meant in the nicest good girl kinda way)

 

Someone with the plain jane nickname of just “C*nt” and a profile picture of her lovely tongue blasted this…. “my name is c*nt. i am totally submissive and fully compliant. my back door has been opened and stretched. i am the property of Master Stephen. i am His slave.. i am His c*nt.” (That Master Stephen is one lucky dude, a compliant stretched out woman that’s ALL his!!!)


Now lest I be accused of being sexist, a query into the word “c*ck” found 14,439 offerings (unless I miss my guess, literal offerings). Now if I wanted to be cynical, I “could” say that men lack a bit more tact and imagination than women just from the sheer numbers returned. Of course, we all know that I have little knowledge of sarcasm or cynicism. I am just a mere female after all!!

In the interest of fairness..I will point out however, that I also observed a fair number of entries with this lovely term were from women extolling the virtues of this particular body appendage as well as singing (or would that be humming) the praises of quantity (in size and number) over quality. It seems that to some, any ole’ thing will do as long as the person it’s attached to shows the proper amount of admiration and groveling to the potential F*ckmate/F*ckee.

 

This search included such appealing sorts as Mr. “Suck_n_Gum_u” who graphically explains that he cannot maintain or obtain an erection due to blood pressure issues, BUT will take out his dentures and service anyone interested.

 

This blast stood out (pun intended) as just a little TOO desperate … “I’m a horny boy & very interested to have sex with the girls, Mature Women, Plump girls, Transexual & Shemale. i have really a big c*ck & i bet you will enjoy with this snake.(Can we translate this to mean to blind, crippled or crazy..breathing not really an issue?? This boy is just begging to end up having bunnies boiled in his kitchen)

 A few other “highlights” of my research…(bear in mind these were all found on ONE single social site)

“Pussy” (I’m guessing not referring to a feline)  garnered 21,037 results.

 

“Anal” was found 10,993 times.

 

“Sex” blew them all away with 250,471 offerings.

 

Okay, so you get the idea..I don’t need to keep beating a dead horse here (and I’m surely not going to be beating anything else).

 

The world has changed and it appears, so have the ways of wooing. I guess I’m going to be difficult and remain in the dark ages when it comes to basic male/female interactions. Obvious=boring. It shows a lack of incentive and basic moral fiber, not to mention a likely hood of disease.

 

I demand more. The saying of “I just don’t play hard to get, I AM hard to get” comes to mind. If so many people weren’t so afraid of being alone or if people were not in such a hurry to find “the one”, we might get back to more meaningful relationships and *gasp* find actual excitement in another person that doesn’t burn out like a roman candle in the wind, but instead weathers the test of time and intensifies.

 

We all know, or should know, that things that are REAL demand time and attention and work. These connections don’t grow on trees and aren’t a dime a dozen…nothing good cums easy and if it does, it wasn’t worth the trouble, even minimal trouble, to attain it.

 

Here’s an idea. 

 

Dare to be interesting.

 

(I won’t even get into the fact that as a teacher, the lack of grammar, spelling and punctuation from so-called adults make me absolutely wild…and not in the way I’m sure most intended.  That’s a subject for a later rant.)