Talk Dirty to Me..In The New Old Fashioned Way

On second thought, never mind.

 

When did we start the slide down the slippery (no pun intended) slope to become such a world of boringly predictable people?

 

The “shock” value of things a few years ago from those acting outside the norm such as Howard Stern, has disintegrated too rapidly in the past few years into a population (especially online) that has lost all sense of imagination in favor of reverting back to teenage adolescent behavior and sexual immaturity in the belief that this is the “new” modern way of interacting with each other. What the heck, who needs silly things like manners and anticipation when you can have instant promiscuity and lewd comments substituted for actual conversation. It saves SO much time, right?!? (and produces such a profoundly lasting result, just take a gander at the divorce rate these days)

 

When did it become so easy to BE easy?

 

Call me silly, but give me good old-fashioned romance, pursuit and seduction anytime over this watered-down pale ridiculous version of what passes for the mating ritual dance these days..or as I refer to it, total BS so deep you need to be in a full length body condom just to say hello, never mind shaking hands or other body parts with anyone.

 

Where, oh where have all the creative people gone?

 

Where are the people that possess the ability to craft subtle subliminal play and innuendo with their words?

 

What has happened to the ART of foreplay and seduction?

 

Does anyone even KNOW what a double entrendre IS anymore?

 

I think not.

 

The golden years of people that could make magic with their words…the ones that could, with a single glance or turn of a phrase, have you on the edge of your seat with longing..the concept of always leave them wanting more…is no more it seems. To me, the loss of such a vital part of interpersonal relationships and the death of all imagination is a crying shame. I, for one…will continue to hold fast to the “old” ways. These new “techniques” leave me cold. Trust me, I am NOT in any stretch of the imagination ever what could be considered frigid or even tepid..but throw a predictable or lewd line at me when I don’t know you, it’s the kiss of death and the end of my Southern sense of decorum and manners (bless your heart).

 

Cases in point..I decided to do a little research..all in the name of science of course and just scratched the surface (and trust me, I scratched NOTHING else, cross my heart!! *wink*) of what passes for modern day Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson wannabes wandering through the halls of cyberspace. This is some of what I found..

 

Search for “69” on some social websites and you cum up with 12,641 offerings from the creatively unchallenged.

Blasts aplenty of course with subtle obviously subliminal messages such as…

 

“69 69 69 69 is the best way.. what do u think?” (from a lovely girl apparently considering a calling as a nun…ummm, I guess it’s a female from the nickname that involves the word pink, but alas, the profile is mostly blank)

Or the oh so subtle nicknames such as P*ssy Licker 69 and Queen_69_B*tch_69 that leave SO much to the imagination as to the quality of their character.  Just makes you want to run right out and propose to them, doesn’t it?      

 

Or blogs like this from Sebastian…his blast and blog – “Hi iam Sebastian …………….. XXxxx I luv 69, so if you wanna sit on my face, contact me. Kisses, where ever you like!! …”

 

Or this…

 

Hi,

Why would we complicate our lifes so much if we just look for some good sex, just get but naked and f*ck tonight. If you are interested in just good hot wet and warm sex just let me know. Just make love not war.!!!!

(Oh yes, I can bet this big boy is flooded with offers!!)

 

**************************************************

 

The search for the word “c*nt” garnered less entries (1672), but far more explicit hard-core no-holds barred advertisement for non-strings physical ummm..interactions.

 

A few shining examples…

 

This blast was from someone with the nickname “OMG I’m a HO HO” (Hmmm…isn’t a “ho ho” a chocolate cake made by Hostess and cream filled…oh, nevermind..guess it could be loosely descriptive for this lovely lady too..loose being the operative word)

Her blast – “Bad Girl Crazy Sh*t whining already fucking gringo c*nt C.U.N.T could stand for c u next time Licking sucking and f*cking 5 inch penis dripping juicy fat c*nts.” (which I’m SURE is meant in the nicest good girl kinda way)

 

Someone with the plain jane nickname of just “C*nt” and a profile picture of her lovely tongue blasted this…. “my name is c*nt. i am totally submissive and fully compliant. my back door has been opened and stretched. i am the property of Master Stephen. i am His slave.. i am His c*nt.” (That Master Stephen is one lucky dude, a compliant stretched out woman that’s ALL his!!!)

Now lest I be accused of being sexist, a query into the word “c*ck” found 14,439 offerings (unless I miss my guess, literal offerings). Now if I wanted to be cynical, I “could” say that men lack a bit more tact and imagination than women just from the sheer numbers returned. Of course, we all know that I have little knowledge of sarcasm or cynicism. I am just a mere female after all!!

In the interest of fairness..I will point out however, that I also observed a fair number of entries with this lovely term were from women extolling the virtues of this particular body appendage as well as singing (or would that be humming) the praises of quantity (in size and number) over quality. It seems that to some, any ole’ thing will do as long as the person it’s attached to shows the proper amount of admiration and groveling to the potential F*ckmate/F*ckee.

 

This search included such appealing sorts as Mr. “Suck_n_Gum_u” who graphically explains that he cannot maintain or obtain an erection due to blood pressure issues, BUT will take out his dentures and service anyone interested.

 

This blast stood out (pun intended) as just a little TOO desperate … “I’m a horny boy & very interested to have sex with the girls, Mature Women, Plump girls, Transexual & Shemale. i have really a big c*ck & i bet you will enjoy with this snake. ” (Can we translate this to mean to blind, crippled or crazy..breathing not really an issue?? This boy is just begging to end up having bunnies boiled in his kitchen)

 A few other “highlights” of my research…(bear in mind these were all found on ONE single social site)

“Pussy” (I’m guessing not referring to a feline)  garnered 21,037 results.

 

“Anal” was found 10,993 times.

 

“Sex” blew them all away with 250,471 offerings.

 

Okay, so you get the idea..I don’t need to keep beating a dead horse here (and I’m surely not going to be beating anything else).

 

The world has changed and it appears, so have the ways of wooing. I guess I’m going to be difficult and remain in the dark ages when it comes to basic male/female interactions. Obvious=boring. It shows a lack of incentive and basic moral fiber, not to mention a likely hood of disease.

 

I demand more. The saying of “I just don’t play hard to get, I AM hard to get” comes to mind. If so many people weren’t so afraid of being alone or if people were not in such a hurry to find “the one”, we might get back to more meaningful relationships and *gasp* find actual excitement in another person that doesn’t burn out like a roman candle in the wind, but instead weathers the test of time and intensifies.

 

We all know, or should know, that things that are REAL demand time and attention and work. These connections don’t grow on trees and aren’t a dime a dozen…nothing good cums easy and if it does, it wasn’t worth the trouble, even minimal trouble, to attain it.

 

Here’s an idea. 

 

Dare to be interesting.

 

(I won’t even get into the fact that as a teacher, the lack of grammar, spelling and punctuation from so-called adults make me absolutely wild…and not in the way I’m sure most intended.  That’s a subject for a later rant.)